Well, Fawlty Towers minus the humour, just the incompetence. Making a booking was no problem, but that was about the only efficiency shown for the evening.
Everything was difficult. We had a voucher – which was a good thing, as even with their low prices, it would be struggling to be value otherwise – but even ascertaining what we could order was a struggle with the incredibly passive waitress.
(Side note: three ways to spell cow-meat in four menu entries, a new record.)
We eventually got our order done, which was something I’d almost decided wouldn’t happen at one stage, but the menu has to be seen to be fully appreciated – not only the misspelling all the way through it, but the “organisation” is also bizarre.
Clearing dishes is clearly much easier if you leave them all on the table until the end, when the diners have left, so that’s what happened (as can be seen in the last image below). Also, food came out at seemingly random intervals – the worst was the desserts, where Cha got hers, then about 10 minutes later, when we’d given up on mine and were getting up to leave, they decided to bring it out. Just utterly clueless about how to run a restaurant.
Oh, and the cutlery was pretty horrible – light and small, not nice to use at all.
It’s not the restaurant’s fault, but the two old ladies in the corner reminded me of Mrs Richards and her companion from the best TV show in the history of TV – Fawlty Towers – and the kid at the table next to them was pretty noisy as well. Perfect storm of horrid, really.
For entree, we had Onion Bhujia – onion rings deep fried in chickpea flour and butter – which were exactly as described, just onion rings. OK with the tamarind sauce.
Paneer Pakora – homemade cheese cooked & fried in chickpea flour and spices – Cha thought this was OK, but it was the least interesting Paneer Pakora we’ve ever had. No taste.
Fried Rice (Punjabi style) – Rice cooked with fresh mixed vegetables – this was OK, but Cha really didn’t like the dried onion that was all through it. I thought it was OK, having ordered it mainly because I hadn’t seen fried rice on the menu at an Indian restaurant before.
Malai Kofta – Potato dumplings stuffed with cheese, sultanas and cashews in a rich tomato gravy – I quite liked this, but Cha only thought it was “OK”. I liked the consistency of the dumplings as well as the taste.
Captain’s Special – Royal dish of Northern India, lamb with potato, onion, capsicum & spices – this was OK, but the potato in it was like potato that had been roasted, then left in the fridge for several days (Cha’s description, and I agree).
Garlic naan – probably the worst naan we’ve ever had. Thin, floppy, seemingly cooked a while ago, came out on a tray sitting on glad wrap? No idea.
Gulab Jamun – was fine, although I didn’t like the texture, as they didn’t have much body, and just squashed up.
Rice pudding – nicest dish of the night, but it was only rice pudding. As you can see in the background, all the other dishes were still on the table, despite this dessert turning up 10 minutes after the first dessert.
TLDR: I’d rather stay home and cook.